My poops are numbered.

My colon and rectum are going to be removed in 6 days, and I will be left with a permanent ileostomy.  That means I have approximately 30 poops from the butt left…for all eternity.  (You may be doing quick math and are thinking “five times a day…that’s not too bad”.  And I agree with you!  Five times a day is a walk in the park compared to some of the dark days of my life when I was averaging 10+.  I’ll get more into those days in a later post.)

Back to the 30 poops.  While I have mixed feelings about the actual surgery, I could not be more thrilled to only have to poop 30 more times, from the butt, for the rest of my life!  Think of the money I am going to save on toilet paper!  I legit cry a little when I go to someone else’s house and they have that super thin, see-through, sandpaper-esk toilet paper.  Have they never had diarrhea?!  While I doubt I will stoop to that level (I find it just plain cruel!), I will not have to invest in the jumbo pack of 900 fill polyester down TP like I do today.  Charmin shareholders: take note.

Now that we are up to speed with my bowel movement frequency and toilet paper preferences, let me introduce myself.  Hi!  I’m Dani & I have Crohn’s disease.  I have lost many battles in my 10 year struggle with this disease, but this month, I am determined to win the war!

I decided to create Baby Got Bag to share my experiences through this surgery and life after.  My mission is to prove that life can still be “normal”, even with an ostomy bag.  I plan to share the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, and the tricks that turn the bag life, into the best life.

Stay tuned – shit is about to get real!

 

P.S. 27 poops remain.

6 thoughts on “My poops are numbered.

  1. Love your positivity and humor! I too am having permanent ostomy surgery – mine is in 3 days! It may be a colostomy or ileostomy the surgeon isn’t sure yet. Best wishes for your surgery!

    Like

    • Thank you! I either have to laugh or cry at this life…I choose laughter. I probably won’t be able to read any of your posts in the 3 days leading up to my surgery (defense mechanism) but let’s catch up when we are both on the other side! All the positive vibes in the world to you this week! I hear the bag life is great!!

      Liked by 1 person

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