Surgery prep sucks. Colonoscopy prep sucks. Any bowel related anything prep sucks.
I tried to eat 2 big meals yesterday in hopes that they would hold me over through today. That worked out well – NOT. While the food was delicious (I ate dinner at one of my most favorite restaurants), the world needed to remind me one more time why I was getting this surgery. As if I had forgotten.
If you can’t read between the lines, I shit my pants. Actually, I shit my dress, which is almost worst? In my car. At least I’ve smarted up at this point and I sit on a “poopy pad” so the mess is easier to clean up and I am not trying to deep clean my car seats at least once a week. I did still have to sneak into my house past my neighbor, while my dog was frantically trying to sniff AKA lick my butt. That was fun.
While yesterday ended on a slightly shitty note, I at least got to eat real food! We take it for granted, being able to eat 3 meals a day. For the 48 hours prior to surgery, I am restricted to clear liquids. I had a bowl of chicken broth for dinner tonight. It looked like pee. I told myself it tasted like prime rib.
Over the last 3 years I have gone at least 2 weeks without eating real food. I have had about 5 procedures each year that have required bowel prep. Did I mention it sucks?
Bowel prep does suck. But so does pooping your pants. And I have done that WAY more than 5 times a year…
So this brings me to plus side # 35 of having an ostomy.
Ostomy Plus Side # 35: Fewer procedures that require bowel prep post-ostomy.
T minus 5 poops, folks.