I don’t have a butt hole and poop, uncontrollably, into a bag, all day, every day.


For those intrigued enough to want to know more after that last sentence, read on.

I have a severe auto-immune disease, called Crohn’s disease.  In 2016, I made the decision to undergo a life.  altering.  surgery.  and have my severely diseased large intestine (also known as the colon), and my rectum removed.  This means that I poop in a bag attached to my stomach, and will, for the.  rest.  of.  my.  life.  This bag is called an ileostomy, known as ostomy for short.

I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease during my freshman year of college, in 2009.  I had struggled with stomach aches for 3 years prior to diagnosis, but chalked it up to too much Mountain Dew mixed with hot sauce at the local pizzeria.  It was when I began to see nauseating amounts of blood in the toilet after BMs that my mom rushed me to the doctor and my first colonscopy confirmed my fate.

Over the last 8 years I have been on nearly every drug on the market, known to treat Crohn’s disease, and developed antibodies to all but one (thank, God, for Entyvio!).  I have dealt with every symptom WebMD will tell you about, and many that don’t make the WebMD list.   I have been exhausted.  I have had no appetite.  I have pulled my hair out in chunks in the shower.  I have seen the scale say 98 pounds.  I have looked in the mirror to see sunken in eyes and cheeks that I didn’t recognize, surrounded by the steroid swell.  I can go on & on…that’s why I created a blog!

Over the last 8 years, I have learned that you never know how strong you are until strong is the only choice you have, and that laughter truly is the best medicine.

When I said I made the decision to undergo a life altering surgery, I meant that I made the decision to have the surgery on my terms, when the life interruption worked best for me.  It was inevitable that I would have to have my colon and rectum removed.  I didn’t respond to any medication and too much permanent damage had already been done.  I was at the crossroads of packing my own diaper bag at age 26 and showing this disease truly how strong it had made me.  I chose to write my own ending to that shitty chapter in my fairy tale.

I have endured countless, mortifying, horrifying, hilarious, shitty, situations.  I hope my collection of stories, tips and never ending poop jokes in Baby Got Bag let you know that you are not alone if you too poop your pants on the regs or identify as a barbie butt.  If you are a parent, friend or supporter of anyone with an ostomy, Crohn’s disease or IBD, I hope you gain a bit of insight into the grace needed to manage this shitty hand of cards dealt by life.  Lastly, I hope Baby Got Bag brings you a laugh.  In nearly all of my shitty situations, I feel I have two options – to laugh or to cry.

I choose to laugh.