It tastes like prime rib.

Surgery prep sucks.  Colonoscopy prep sucks.  Any bowel related anything prep sucks.

I tried to eat 2 big meals yesterday in hopes that they would hold me over through today.  That worked out well – NOT.  While the food was delicious (I ate dinner at one of my most favorite restaurants), the world needed to remind me one more time why I was getting this surgery.  As if I had forgotten.

If you can’t read between the lines, I shit my pants.  Actually, I shit my dress, which is almost worst?  In my car.  At least I’ve smarted up at this point and I sit on a “poopy pad” so the mess is easier to clean up and I am not trying to deep clean my car seats at least once a week.  I did still have to sneak into my house past my neighbor, while my dog was frantically trying to sniff AKA lick my butt.  That was fun.

While yesterday ended on a slightly shitty note, I at least got to eat real food!  We take it for granted, being able to eat 3 meals a day.  For the 48 hours prior to surgery, I am restricted to clear liquids.  I had a bowl of chicken broth for dinner tonight.  It looked like pee.  I told myself it tasted like prime rib.

Over the last 3 years I have gone at least 2 weeks without eating real food.  I have had about 5 procedures each year that have required bowel prep.  Did I mention it sucks?

Bowel prep does suck.  But so does pooping your pants.  And I have done that WAY more than 5 times a year…

So this brings me to plus side # 35 of having an ostomy.

Ostomy Plus Side # 35: Fewer procedures that require bowel prep post-ostomy.


T minus 5 poops, folks.